heat wave part i: there amid frugality

as i walked into the glare of the sun in the parking lot, i realized i still clutched lightly her dignity in my sweating palm. i turned, and the sun fired off the closed glass doors like one of those neat camera tricks in my glasses. the grimy radar doors reluctanted apart. i'd seen her last standing against the cold cases in the freezer aisles, smearing the fog on the case with her sweat-soaked wifebeater, her skin moist and flushed after having walked through this heat wave. she'd mentioned wanting blue berries for the way they reminded her of the fields of her father's house, out in the woods were the weird people lived and rode horses to school. i could just picture the berries bursting under her teeth, the hematic juice staining her cheeks. her dignity squirmed a bit in my sweaty grip, so i picked up pace. i threw my head side to side up every aisle but she seemed gone. she'd talked about her dignity with intimidating pride, and i knew how she'd weep realizing my accidental thievery.

2009 in 09 pictures.

unfortunate irwin and the mechanized sodomybomb

"remember that faggot irwin?"
"yeah, the one that drew the dick pictures all veined-out and hairy, like he was some kinda cockstudier?"
"yeah. i mean, it's ok for doctors to get--- i mean understand, you understand--- the dick, but irwin, that fairy, he bleached his hair and listened to music where dudes looked and sounded like chicks."
"i know right? dicks are like gross. i don't get why chicks like sucking dick. i mean, does it even taste good? sometimes when i rub my eye after i piss it burns."
"well the same thing happens with sriracha and that shit's bomb diggity."
"i once turned around in a store and saw a guy that looked like irwin, with those gay-ass tight pants he wore. he was buying condoms, i saw him from the next aisle over. i bet he was gonna go plumb some knob-slobbing little bitch dude."
"isn't the next aisle over were all the vagina cleaner stuff is?"
"yeah, but i was just walking through to the snack aisle."
"you remember that time irwin streaked? all the girls talked about how big his d was."
"i remember his naked ass under those stadium lights, the shadows of the curve where his cleft blocked the light. i don't remember the bitches talking up his d though."
"oh, i just remember my girlfriend joking that his was like thrice my size. so i punched her and she made me a sandwich to show her love for me."
"how was the sandwich?"
"i fucking hate vampires. they're the gayest. gayer than sucking dick, even."
"i bet there are lots of vampires in iran."
"iran is such a stupid name. didn't they think about what it means in english? idiots."
"irwin used to talk about how the thunder used to sound like the love of the universe exploding over the ocean. pretty gay, huh?"
"words suck dude. life's all about beer and working and bitchin about how yer bitch's getting fat and ugly. life's those grease stains you can't get off your concrete garage floor no matter how much you try, which isn't very much because you're too busy tricking your shit out. fags write their diaries in books. we write our diaries on our overalls and in ruts in the mud and grease-slicks in the snow melt."
"i bet i could build a saw so big we could chop down the mountain. we'd have enough firewood to burn all the faggots and heat our houses for years. we wouldn't even have those hippie bitches talking about how roads are bad because you don't need roads to cut down a mountain."
"i bet we could cut god outta the sky and prove all those atheist tools wrong too. i bet we could cut some sense into those feminists, too, and cut out that empowered vagina-thing they got inside 'em."
"who needs any of 'em. we've got engines. engines that burn. hell ain't got shit on us, bro. we can burn so much fuel that we'll eventually burn the whole world up and then we'll have nothing but a big old ball of exhaust where the earth usta be, and when them aliens come and check it out they'll think 'damn, those humans musta had one helluva ride!' no one can stop us."
"could you imagine if the aliens came and saw pictures of irwin? they'd think we all was faggots."
"we're the torch of the new century. we have to fight against all those shitty people that wanna make us weak. we gotta fight those feminazis who want us to think that bitches are people. we gotta fight those faggots and liberals and hippies who wanna make us feel things other than godfear and adrenaline and hate for anything that ain't us. that's what makes us strong, it's not being pussies, and that's all the want from us, those liberals and hippies and faggots who destroy marriage. so fuck 'em. we'll burn 'em up with our turbodiesels. we'll leave the mark we gotta leave on the universe, that we weren't afraid of living the way we outta."
"look at that sumbitch. chrome doorhandles!"
"if i could fuck a truck i'd sell coke to pay for all the armor-all."